As vet nurses, saying yes can feel like part of the job.

• Yes, I can stay back.
• Yes, I can swap that shift.
• Yes, I can take another patient.
• Yes, I can help with that.
• Yes, I can study after work.
• Yes, I can just push through

We often associate being a “good” nurse with being helpful, reliable and always willing to step up. But when every request gets a yes, eventually there is nothing left for you. Setting boundaries is not about being difficult, selfish or not being a team player. It’s about recognising what you can realistically give without running yourself into the ground.

What Poor Boundaries Might Look Like

Sometimes we don’t even realise we’re struggling with boundaries. It might look like: Feeling guilty when you say no. Constantly agreeing to extra shifts. Answering work messages when you’re supposed to be studying or resting. Staying late because you don’t want to let the team down. Taking on everyone else’s problems. Feeling responsible for fixing everything. Putting your own needs last. Saying “yes” and then feeling resentful afterwards. When you are working and studying, your available time and energy are already limited. There simply isn’t an endless supply of you!

Why Saying No Can Feel So Uncomfortable

Vet nurses are naturally caring people. We care about our patients, our clients and our colleagues. We do not want someone else to struggle because we said no. But there’s a difference between being supportive and being available for everything. Sometimes saying no feels like you’re letting someone down. But saying: “I can’t take that on right now.” Doesn’t mean: “I don’t care.” It means you are being honest about your capacity sad that’s actually healthier for you and the people around you.

The Guilt Trap

You might have thoughts like: “Everyone else manages it.” “They’ll think I’m not committed.” “I’m being selfish.” “It’s only one more shift.” “I’ll catch up on sleep later.” But constantly overriding your own limits doesn’t make you more committed. It can leave you exhausted, resentful and eventually unable to give your best to anyone, including yourself. Remember: you don’t have to be completely exhausted before you are allowed to say no.

Setting Boundaries Without Burning Bridges

Boundaries don’t have to be harsh. You can be kind and clear. Give Yourself Permission to Pause You don’t have to answer every request immediately. Consider: “Let me check what I’ve got on and I’ll get back to you.” This gives you time to think rather than automatically saying yes. Especially when you are studying, check your roster, assignment deadlines and personal commitments before agreeing to something extra.

Consider “Not This Time” Instead of “Never”

Sometimes a boundary can be flexible. Instead of: “I never do extra shifts.” You might say: “I can’t do this one, but if there are others I can let you know if I’m free.” You can still be supportive without being available every time you are asked.

Don’t Make Your Boundary an Apology

There’s nothing wrong with saying: “I’m not available tonight.” You don’t need a 5 minute explanation afterwards. The more we over-explain, the more we can sound like we are asking permission for our own boundary. Be kind. Be respectful. Be clear

Protect Your Study Time

Study is not “free time.” If you have committed to completing an assignment or preparing for an assessment, that time matters. You don’t need to justify every hour you are not available for work. Your education is an investment in your future.

Recognise What Is Yours to Carry

You can support your colleagues without taking responsibility for their emotions, workload or problems. You can care without fixing. You can listen without carrying it home. You can be part of the team without being responsible for holding the entire team together.

Remember

Being a good vet nurse doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. You can care about your patients and your team without giving every last bit of yourself. Setting boundaries is not selfish, it helps you protect your energy, your wellbeing and your ability to keep doing the job you love.

Self-Reflection

The next time you’re asked to do something, pause before automatically saying yes. Ask yourself:

• Do I actually have the capacity for this?
• Am I saying yes because I want to, or because I feel guilty saying no?
• What will saying yes mean for my sleep, study or wellbeing?
• If a colleague was in my position, would I expect them to say yes?

You don’t need to master boundaries overnight. Start small, sometimes “not this time” is enough.